


We live

by Roxy279



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 11:14:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24350098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roxy279/pseuds/Roxy279
Summary: Lexa walks out of the anomaly
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Echo, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clexa - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 188
Collections: The 100 Fix-Its and Rewrites





	We live

**Author's Note:**

> I know...I’m so annoying I’m back again with another fic. This one I have been slowly working on for a while now. Just a one shot at the moment. Hope you all like it, bit angsts with a happy ending. Let me know what you think.

It had been a month since Octavia had disappeared. Literally. 

An unknown women they now know as Hope came with a warning.

The anomaly isn’t a time machine it’s a gate way between planets but it is also a thing of creation in that it creates things. Raven said it sounded like a computer. You input the information and the anomaly does what it is asked.

So when Hope came through to this planet the flame was absorbed into the anomaly.

Everyone took Hope’s warning and waited outside the anomaly for the dark commander ready to end his life.

But dark commander never showed.

the anomaly started making noises and spitting out cosmetic lightening, everyone stood gaurd ready for a fight but.....a figure walked out. A feminine figure. With her hand held up to her face to shield her eyes from the bright green light. A figure that had such well known war paint.

Lexa.

She looked just as confused as everyone else.

Madi and Clarke stood at the front not to close to the anomaly still weary of what it can and can not do.

Bellamy, Echo, Miller, jackson, Gaia, murphy and Emori stood behind them. 

Everyone froze. Not believing that was right in front of them.

Especially Clarke. The blonde stood there with wide eyes. 

Madi was the first one to break. “Lexa!” She ran towards the brunette.

Lexa lowered her hand from her face and took a look at the people in front of her. When she heard her name she moved her a hand to her sword in defence but... once she seen the familiar girl run towards her she relax.

Clarke, being taken but by the situation realised that Madi was no longer beside her. “Madi Wait!”

But Madi knew Lexa. She loved Lexa. Ever since she put the flame in the back of her neck Lexa has been her saviour, her friend....

So she ignored her mother’s calls and almost knocked Lexa over wrapping her arms around her waist and burying her nose in her shoulder. She felt Lexa slowly wrap her arms around her as if she was afraid but after a couple of seconds Madi felt the woman squeeze her back. 

“Madi..” the women said softly. “Where...what?”

The girl was pulled backwards harshly. When she looked beside her Bellamy was glaring at Lexa and holding a gun up towards her. “What are you doing!” Madi pushed him.

“Madi get back.” Clarke said running behind her.

She felt her mother Hold her shoulders. When she looked behind her Clarke’s eyes were glossy. She only ever cried when talking about Lexa, dreaming about Lexa or hearing stories about Lexa, anything really to do with Lexa.

“Mom.” She tried to get her mothers attention. “It’s Lexa!” She pointed towards the brunette. 

Bellamy huffed. “We don’t know what or who she is.”

Emori walked up with Raven. “She’s not exactly fighting Bell.”

“So! We don’t know what that anomaly does and doesn’t do!” He aimed the gun at the brunette again.

Madi got out of Clarke’s grasp and threw herself in front of Lexa with her hands held up. “Just wait!”

Hope stepped forward. “Everyone needs to calm down.”

Clarke shook her head and held out her hand. “Madi. Come back now.”

“No! This is Lexa, Mom!”

“Madi!”

“I can prove it!” She looked over her shoulder at Lexa who still hadn’t spoken one word. “Mom! You know Lexa better then anyone here! Ask her something that only you would know!”

“Madi....Lexa is dead! Come back here now!”

Madi looked behind her at Lexa. “Lexa tell mom something that only she would know!”

Lexa looked at Clarke sadly.

“Madi come back-“

“You have a birthmark on the right thigh.” Lexa said softly.

Clarke looked at Lexa and blinked away her tears. “Shut up!” She looked back at Madi. “Madi come here!”

“You have a scar on your hip bone from when you and Wells were play fighting and he bumped you into a cabinet. You needed three stitches and refused your mothers help insisting that you could do it yourself. So she let you because it was the only way it would get done.”

Clarke’s hand slowly lowered. 

“Princess was a name given by your peers as a form of insult. What they don’t know is that that is what your father called you as a term of endearment so it didn’t bother you as much as they liked.”

Bellamy moved closer with his gun still on Lexa. “That means nothing!”

Lexa looked at him then looked at Clarke. “I asked you to stay in polis.” She said softly. 

Raven frowned. “When?”

Clarke blinked and looked at Raven. “After the kill order was placed. I didn’t tell anyone that not even Madi.” She looked back at Lexa. “What were the final words I spoke to you?”

“It depends.” Lexa said sadly. “What time?”

“What do you mean what time.” Bellamy groaned. 

Lexa sighed. “The time I was shot by my Flamekeeper and died or the time I fought off people in the city of light so Clarke could save you all......Again.”

Clarke gasped. “Lexa....”

Bellamy shook his head. “Clarke it could be a trick-“

“My name is Lexa kom trikru. I was known as the commander of blood. I bulit a coalition forming 12 clans. I then initiated Skaikru making them the 13th clan. I beat Roan kom Azgeda in a fight to the death and killed queen Nia making Roan the king. I made my way to polis with her body to give to Skaikru as a peace offering but you.” She looked at Bellamy “Bellamy kom Skai kru, you help slaughtered an army of 200-300 of my people whom were sent there to protect you and worst you did it when they were sleeping. How dare YOU of all people stand there and accuse me of anything false! You are a-“

Clarke ran to Lexa wrapping her arms around her shoulders. “Lexa.” She whispered.

Lexa wrapped her arms around the blonde tightly. “Sha. It’s me Clarke I swear it.”

....................

Clarke had to threaten Bellamy to get him to lower his gun. At the end Echo snatched it off him and walked off making him follow.

The whole walk back Madi held Lexa’s hand. Clarke kept her distance but was always checking over her shoulder to see that the brunette was there.

“So.” Raven walked beside her. “How exactly are you here? What’s the last thing you remember?” 

Lexa frowned. “In the flame each commader has there own...space I guess.”

“Can you see or go to other spaces.”

“No. We can hear each other but we can not see each other only the commander that holds the flame calls upon fallen commanders. Only one commander could jump from space to space.”

“Becca?”

“Yes.”

“Makes sense.”

“She warned me that the dark commander had figured out how to jump from space to space and was killing all the other commanders. So She stayed in my space with me and we waited. He left me for last knowing I would be his greatest challenge he also wanted to subdue me.”

Clarke stopped walking. “What?”

Lexa looked away from the blonde and took a deep breath. “Ah. He. He wanted me for himself.”

“What do you mean!”

Gaia looked over her shoulder at Clarke. “I think it’s pretty obvious Clarke. You do know that the dark commander captured women and raped them right?”

Echo grinned. “You won though. Didn’t you Heda.”

“Yes. Becca sacrificed herself. She knew that it was taking a lot to keep both me and her alive. So she ended her life so I had a better chance.”

“Then What happened?” Clarke asked softly. 

**Inside the flame.**

_Lexa hadn’t known how long they were fighting for but as she looked at beccas lifeless body she felt a new surge of energy._

_The dark commander stood in front of her and wiped the blood from his lip._

_Behind him a door appeared. “I knew you’d would be feisty but this is unexpected.”_

_“I won’t go down easy.”_

_“Clearly but I think I will keep you here for myself.”_

_Lexa seen him back towards the door. She knew if he left she would be a prisoner of some sort. “What a shame I was just beginning to have fun.”_

_He paused. “Really?” ___

___She took off her shirt leaving her in her bra. “Yes.” She lied._ _ _

___His eyes widened and he grinned in a way that made Lexa’s insides turn._ _ _

___He jumped at her but she was quicker then he was and was able to swiftly get behind him and hold the back of his neck smashing his face over and over again into the wall. When she felt his body go limp she let him fall to the floor._ _ _

___She took a deep breath and walked over to Becca kissing her forhead. She then stood and put her shirt back on and walked through the door._ _ _

__**Present.** _ _

__“He made a door appear I beat him and walked through it.”_ _

__“And here you are.” Madi smiled at her._ _

__“Yes.” She smiled. She looked at Clarke who looked away quickly._ _

__“Why do I feel there is more to the story.” Bellamy grunted._ _

__“Maybe, maybe not. But that is my story to tell.”_ _

__........................._ _

__When they got back to the village Madi showed Lexa around excitedly._ _

__Clarke followed them, not really saying much. Smiling every now and then._ _

__When it came to sleeping arrangements they went to the Tavern._ _

__“Lexa can stay with us right mom?”_ _

__Lexa smiled. “It’s ok Madi. I can sleep in my own room.”_ _

__“But you need to stay with us.”_ _

__Lexa smiled. “I won’t be far.”_ _

__“Fine.” She mumbled. Lexa held her chin gently and looked at her with a raised eyebrow. The younger girl rolled her eyes. “I’ll go get you some blankets and stuff.”_ _

__“Mochof.”_ _

__It was just Clarke and Lexa in the room now. “If you need anything I’m just down-“_ _

__“I know Madi showed me.”_ _

__Clarke nodded. “That’s good. She is really taken by you.”_ _

__Lexa smiled softly. “She’s special. You did a great job Clarke.”_ _

__“It was hard at first.”_ _

__“Will you tell me about it?”_ _

__“Maybe one day.” She sighed “Well I better see what everyone else is doing, making sure they keep out of trouble.”_ _

__“Nothing has changed then I see.”_ _

__“We are all a bit different.” She shrugged. “I will see you tomorrow?”_ _

__“I hope so.” She said softly._ _

__......................._ _

__She didn’t._ _

__For some reason the blonde avoided all the places Lexa was._ _

__If she did see Clarke, she would make eye contact then quickly retreated._ _

__Madi stuck by her side as did Gaia._ _

__They trained._ _

__They sparred._ _

__They talked._ _

__And yet Lexa felt a sense of longing every time she would see the blonde._ _

__She couldn’t understand why Clarke was behaving this way._ _

__Perhaps she had misread the signs back on earth and her feelings were not returned._ _

__Or perhaps she had found another. Lexa would understand. According to Madi it had been almost 7 years since since her death._ _

__Would It be hard to deal with?Yes but she would rather have Clarke in her life as a friend then nothin at all._ _

__She was feeling sad one day so she took a walk along the fields looking at the fascinating fruit and vegetables._ _

__“Well well.” She turned towards the voice. John Murphy was standing there smirking at her._ _

__“Hello John.”_ _

__“My friends call me Murphy.”_ _

__“Are we friends?”_ _

__He shrugged. “Guess not. So what are you doing out here shouldn’t you be with your lover.”_ _

__She looked back at the piece of fruit. “I don’t have a lover.” She said softly._ _

__He scoffed. “Riiiiight.”_ _

__She smiled softly at him. “It’s true.”_ _

__He looked genuinely confused. “So you and Clarke?”_ _

__“I think we are friends.”_ _

__“You think?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__He chuckled. “What the hell. How couldn’t you not know for certain who are and are not your friends. I mean you were lovers back on earth right?”_ _

__She turned to him. “Well, I suppose it is because I have been here for almost three weeks and Clarke has only said two sentences to me.”_ _

__His eyes widened. “What....”_ _

__She shrugged. “So you see, I do not know if Clarke is my friend. I Didn’t have many back on earth but I’m certain that friends do not avoid one another.”_ _

__“Well.....that’s sad.”_ _

__She sighed. She really didn’t have a come back for that because...well it was sad. It was making her sad. As she looked at John, she noticed that he wasn’t looking at her with pitty. He looked like he deeply understood that sadness. It was his eyes. His eyes looked like they held sadness. Lexa wondered if that’s what she looked like right now. “It is what it is.” She said quietly._ _

__He stood closer to her and bumped her shoulder. “I can be your friend.” He looked away with his cheeks tinted a bit pink._ _

__“Really?”_ _

__He cleared his throat and shrugged still blushing.” I just know what it feels like to have no friends. Lonely ya know.”_ _

__She could tell he was being sincere. The atmosphere around them was a bit sad so she smiled. “Well.....are there any other options or are you it?”_ _

__John looked at her then and smiled at her. A real smile. “Hey. I’m a catch just ask Emori.”_ _

__She smiled softly. “I’d be honoured John. Truely.”_ _

__“Wow. I don’t think anyone has been honoured by me in any way. This is a first.”_ _

__“It won’t be the last.” She sighed. “Since we are friends. Can I tell you something?”_ _

__“Sure.”_ _

__“I miss Clarke.” She said softly._ _

__He looked at her softly and started showing her fruits that he liked. Most likely to distract her._ _

__It worked. She didn’t think about the sadness she felt as John made her laugh and she also didn’t notice the blonde blue eyed leader watching them sadly from a far._ _

__......................._ _

__Lexa was eating breakfast with everyone much to Bellamy’s disapproval._ _

__The only people out of the group that gave her the time of day was Madi, Gaia, Emori and Murphy._ _

__No one in particular was rude to her they just didn’t give her any time._ _

__She felt uncomfortable around them really but John told her that his friends had been through a lot and were hard to warm up too._ _

__She understood. She was once the same._ _

__Very guarded especially when it came to people that she thought of close friends._ _

__Bellamy was watching her but he didn’t come off as threatening more as weary. It seemed he was on defence, Getting ready for attack._ _

__Lexa though about this as she ate her breakfast. She thought about how it may seem._ _

__The anomaly, as Madi explained took his sister._ _

__It’s only natural that he would think anything or anyone that comes out of it would be a threat._ _

__So she ignored him. She would just have to prove to everyone she isn’t here to hurt them. She just wished she had Clarke by her side to do so. It had been a month now and still the blonde avoided her._ _

__She would be lying if she said it didn’t hurt._ _

__Everyones attention was turned towards the stairs. Clarke coming down them._ _

__Lexa finds it amazing that after all these years that Clarke still had the attention of the entire room. Even without trying._ _

__the blonde walked to the table. “Don’t do anything for my birthday.” She said sternly. Mainly looking at Raven._ _

__Raven huffed. “Gees love yourself much princess.”_ _

__“Raven. Do not plan anything.” She said again._ _

__“I’m not!”_ _

__“Good.” She said and looked at Lexa, the blondes features softened. “Hi Lexa.”_ _

__Lexa was shocked for a moment until John elbowed her in the ribs. “Uh. Heya.” She smiled._ _

__Clarke nodded and went to....where ever it is Clarke goes. Lexa isn’t sure._ _

__“So.” Raven piped up. “Party for Clarke?”_ _

__Lexa looked at her and frowned. Because maybe Raven didn’t hear. “She just said-“_ _

__“That I couldn’t plan it. So Emori you good?”_ _

__“On it.” She said getting up from the table._ _

__Bellamy glared at her. “We know she doesn’t like a big fuss but she will appreciate it.”_ _

__She shrugged, because really. It was a nice gesture. Birthday parties on earth were rare so when there was one it was always a happy occasion. Clarke deserves to be happy. “Ok.”_ _

__“Not like you are invited anyway.” He mumbled._ _

__Murphy rolled his eyes. “Man you need to let it go.”_ _

__Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing and looked between them both._ _

__Lexa put her hand gently on his arm. “John it’s-“_ _

__“What you friends with her now?” Bellamy cut in._ _

__“Ahh, yeah I am actually. And she’s alright just so you all know. She hasn’t hurt a fly since coming out of the watch cha ma call it and she has been nice to me. So yeah I am her friend and I’m not going to watch as you all treat her like shit and for no reason other then Bellamy says so. Grow a pair and think for yourselves for once.” He stood up and walked out of the room._ _

__“Come on Lexa.” Madi said gently. “We will go train.”_ _

__Lexa nodded and follwed the girl._ _

__..............................._ _

__When Lexa was out of the room. Gaia stood and looked at everyone. “I never thought I would hear myself saying this. But Murphy is right.”_ _

__Raven huffed. “Don’t know what he’s on about I haven’t said anything to her.”_ _

__“Yes exactly.” She shook her head. “She’s new here, we don’t know what she has been through and you all treat her like she’s some kind of sickness...I don’t even know what you have against her Bellamy.”_ _

__“Doesn’t matter. Clarke wants nothing to do with her.”_ _

__“Did she say that?”_ _

__Echo frowned. “He makes a good point Gaia. She has barley talked to her.”_ _

__“But has she actually said those words.”_ _

__“No.” Bellamy sighed. “But you can’t deny that she seems unhappy since the commander came back.”_ _

__“Look.” She said looking at them all. “I’m not going to pretend to understand what is going on inside of Clarke’s head. But she almost lost her daughter, she lost her mother and her lover came back from the dead. Maybe all she needs is time, Madi told me of what she went through dealing with Lexa’s death. She at some stage loved her. Whether she does now or not is not up for us to debate. But ask yourselves this...if Lexa was to leave. How do you think Clarke would handle that. I know Lexa. She will leave if she thinks she is not needed or wanted.” She pushed her chair in. “Clarke is always looking out for everyone. Never putting herself first. Maybe we need to look out for her and whether you want to admit it or not....Lexa, she means something to Clarke and I fear that if Lexa leaves we will lose her again and in a way she might not return to us. I don’t want that for Clarke and I definitely don’t want that for Madi.”_ _

__Raven stood. “Gaia is right. Clarke loved her. You didn’t see them when they reunited in the city of light.”_ _

__Emori crossed her arms. “Yeah and John told me how Clarke was after Lexa was killed.”_ _

__Raven nodded and looked at Gaia. “We will be better.” She looked at Bellamy. “Right Bell.”_ _

__“Yeah.” He said softly frowning. “Yeah. Of course. I...she told abby she loved her. I heard her say that.”_ _

__Echo sighed. “We will try harder.”_ _

__...................._ _

__That night a party was held for Clarke._ _

__Lexa chose to stay away. She didn’t officially get an invitation. So she thought it best to stay back._ _

__Later Madi had come back and dragged her out of the room pushed her inside the party then left._ _

__When she walked in she was so taken back by all the different colours and the music._ _

__She decided to stand in the corner and watch for afar._ _

__Everyone seemed to be having a good time._ _

__Clarke especially._ _

__She was out on the dance floor dancing with raven laughing at ravens silly dance moves._ _

__When raven moved away a man she didn’t know came up behind Clarke and held her hips. The both started swaying to the music._ _

__They seemed familiar with each other._ _

__In the way he was whispering in her ear._ _

__In the way she let him hold her to his body slowing moving to the music._ _

__Lexa felt dread in the pit of her stomach. Not even jealousy. Just pure plain dread._ _

__Lexa was used to the bad feelings._ _

__Being in battle._ _

__Ok the vege of death._ _

__Actually dying._ _

__But this.. was something else. A pain she didn’t recognise. A pain that went so deep she swore she could feel it in her bones._ _

__But the thing that shocked her the most with this deep deep pain. Is that It came with a hint of acceptance._ _

__Accepting of the fact Clarke had moved on. Clarke found someone that could make her smile and laugh like she is right now at what ever it is he is saying in her ear._ _

__She felt tears well up in her eyes and a lump from in her throat._ _

__For the first time since coming on to this planet she realised how cruel life was being to her._ _

__Clarke mourned her, she knows this but Clarke had moved on, Lexa however did not. Moving on was something that she wasn’t gifted with. She felt for Clarke exactly what she felt when she was dying, which to her only felt like yesterday. She felt the love that was held in Clarkes eyes as she said the travelers blessing to her. She felt the love that showed at how scared she was to lose her. To let go. Lexa longed for her lover that held her hand as she took her last breath._ _

__It was a longing that literally no one could understand._ _

__But she wouldn’t cry._ _

__Clarke caught her eye and then froze like she was caught doing something bad. So Lexa did the only thing she could think of. She smiled and waved, then she left._ _

__On her way out she bumped into Bellamy._ _

__“Oh hey Lexa.”_ _

__“Hi.” Her voice croaked. She looked away from him so she couldn’t she the tears building up in her eyes._ _

__“I went looking for you. I actually wanted to apologise. I haven’t been fair to you and I’m sorry for that.”_ _

__She nodded. “Ok.”_ _

__“Alright.” He sighed. “You don’t have to forgive me-“_ _

__“There was nothing to forgive.” She took a deep breath. “It’s ok.”_ _

__“Oh. Right. I just...I want you you to understand...you came out of that thing and that thing is the reason why my sister is not here.”_ _

__“I know. I’m not here to hurt anyone Bellamy.”_ _

__“I know that too.” He smiled softly. “We lost her twice. Well we thought we did. Clarke...she’s the glue that holds it all together and she’s family. We can’t lose anyone else. I can’t.”_ _

__She nodded. “I know.”_ _

__“I’m going to be better towards you Lexa. We all are.”_ _

__She could tell her was being sincere. “Do you have maps?”_ _

__“Maps?”_ _

__“Yes. Maps.”_ _

__“Oh are you planning on leaving.” He looked worried._ _

__“I would like to see our surroundings. I wouldn’t mind exploring a bit. I always like nature.”_ _

__He lent against the wall and smiled. “Yeah? We’re you like that as a kid?”_ _

__“Yes.” She smiled. “I am Trikru.”_ _

__“Right.” He chuckled. “I think Octavia was trikru too. Once she stepped of that ship. She was at home you know.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“Well. I have maps in mine and echos room if you want to see them.”_ _

__“Don’t feel like going to the party?”_ _

__“Not really.” She shrugged. “Not my thing. You are welcome to by the way I was just being an asshole this morning.”_ _

__She shrugged. “Not my thing either.”_ _

__“Right.” He chuckled. “Come on I’ll show you.” When she was walking beside him he grinned at her. “So what did commanders use to do for fun?”_ _

__“I can’t speak for the others but myself personally I like to read.”_ _

__“Wow.” He chuckled. “A real party animal Huh.”_ _

__“I like reading.”_ _

__“Same. I liked history books.”_ _

__“Me too.”_ _

__“Really!”_ _

__“Yes.” She smiled._ _

__“What’s your favourite!”_ _

__Once they got to Bellamy’s room he showed her the maps and discussed their surroundings. She asked how they all get around. He told her there were no horses on this planet and the closet thing to a horse was a thing called a motorcycle and to speak to Raven about it._ _

__When she left she decided that she didn’t really feel like sleeping or running into Clarke and it would be really awkward and she wanted to avoid that._ _

__So she made her way out to the field once more and set up a bed roll watching the stars. Wondering why it is she was bought back and what she would do next._ _

__.................._ _

__She woke when she felt the sun warm her face and made her way to Raven’s work shop, as Bellamy called it._ _

__When she enters she could hear Raven cussing._ _

__“Fucking stupid fucking thing. Ugh!” She heard the women throw something on the ground._ _

__The women was sitting on the floor surrounded by tools. “Raven?” She approached slowly._ _

__She looked up. “Oh. Hey.”_ _

__Lexa sat down beside her and picked up a tool. “What is this?”_ _

__“It’s a spanner.”_ _

__“A spanner? Is it a weapon?”_ _

__Raven smiled. “No but I guess you could use it as a weapon.” Lexa nodded and handed the tool back to her. “It’s a tool used to unscrew things.”_ _

__“I see.”_ _

__“What you doing here? You lost or something?”_ _

__Lexa thought about the last question. She was undoubtedly lost but not right now. Right now she was where she needed to be. “I need a horse but Bellamy said there’s no horses here and that a motorcycle is the closest thing to a horse.”_ _

__Raven smirked. “Do you know what a bike is?”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__She laughed and stood and uncovered a bike. “This is a bike.”_ _

__Lexa looked at the bike then at Raven. “It’s nothing like a horse.” She deadpanned._ _

__Raven cackled. “You think.” She wiped her eyes. “Why do you need one anyways. You leaving or something.”_ _

__Lexa thought about lying to Raven. She absolutely did want to leave but didn’t want to tell Clarke she was leaving but then again the blonde didn’t seem like she cared all that much. “Maybe.” She shrugged._ _

__Raven fumbled with the tool she had and it dropped on the ground. “Hey. Look I’m sorry if we were rude to you. It’s just that we lost her you know. Clarke. Well we thought we did, like twice. We are just really protective.”_ _

__“I’m happy she has you all.” She smiled. “And that you finally realise all that she has done so that you are all here today but rest assured I am not leaving because of that, I’ve never really cared what other people have thought of me and beside....you have nothing to worry about In regards to Clarke. I believe she has made herself very clear.”_ _

__Raven frowned. “Ok, what? Wait.....clarke....what?” Raven shook her head. “So why you leaving then.”_ _

__“It’s not certain and besides....Why not?”_ _

__“Well how about because there are people here that will miss you.”_ _

__“The people that will miss me will understand and besides, I’m exploring. I’m not leaving forever.”_ _

__“Right well as long as it’s not cause we were being assholes.”_ _

__Lexa smiled. “It’s not. But thank you for acknowledging that you are indeed an asshole.”_ _

__Raven laughed and held her around the shoulders. “Come on ill teach you but it’s gonna take a while.”_ _

__“Takes as long as it takes.”_ _

__..................._ _

__Just over four days of falling off the bike over and over until Lexa finally got the hang of it._ _

__“Wow you are a quick learner.” Raven grinned._ _

__“Thanks.” She smiled. This wasn’t news to Lexa. She always picked things up quicker then others._ _

__“I’m starving let’s go eat.”_ _

__“Oh I’m not hungry. I’m just going to wander around the fields.”_ _

__“You sure?”_ _

__“Yes. Thanks for your help Raven.”_ _

__“It’s ok.” She hoped on the bike. “I’ll see you later then.”_ _

__“Sure.”_ _

__She smiled watching Raven take off._ _

__She didn’t know how long it was before Murphy found her. “Commander.”_ _

__“Hello John.”_ _

__“Raven tells us she has been giving you driving lessons.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“Any particular reason why?”_ _

__“Why not?”_ _

__He smiled and sat down beside her. “You’re thinking of leaving aren’t you?”_ _

__“Yes.” She smiled sadly._ _

__“Why? Truthfully? Not the bullshit you most likely told Raven.”_ _

__She pulled up some grass. “Clarke mourned me. That feeling she once had for me thats....gone now because i died and she moved on But the feeling I had are still there. It’s cruel. I want to be able to move on as well and I can’t do that here. I feel so lost John.”_ _

__Murphy frowned. “It’s still there.”_ _

__“What is.”_ _

__“The feelings and shit.”_ _

__She huffed. “John. I have been here for month, Clarke has not directly spoken to me more then twice. She avoids me at all costs and last night I went to her party, she was dancing with some man and when she had seen me she looked guilty. She shouldn’t feel that way. She should be able to be happy she deserves it. I have come back and I have ruined that for her.”_ _

__John sighed “no. Clarke....she doesn’t allow herself to be happy Lexa. Look what about Madi, she will miss you.”_ _

__Lexa smiled thinking about the girl. “She will understand. A lot of people underestimate her.”_ _

__He sighed. “I’ll miss you too.”_ _

__She smiled at him. “Me too.”_ _

__“You’re going to say goodbye right.”_ _

__“Of course.”_ _

__“Then why don’t you come back and have some dinner with everyone? I know your not leaving today but spend some time with us ya know.”_ _

__Lexa sighed and looked away from her friend. Everyone has made an effort to be kinder to her it was still....strange. “It’s awkward John.”_ _

__“Just stay close to me. She can’t stand me and will avoid me at all costs.”_ _

__She knows the she he is referring to is Clarke. “Perhaps we have that in common.” She smiled sadly._ _

__He laughed and stood up holding out his hand. “Come on.”_ _

__She took it a stood up. “I’ll come back though, you know I will.”_ _

__“I know.” He smiled. “Come on you must be hungry”_ _

__When they walked back into the tavern everyone was sitting down eating, including Clarke. The blonde had her head rested on her hand and was moving. Her food around the plate. She looked lost in thought, that was until Raven noticed them. “Hey commader fall on ya face! Where you been!”_ _

__Clarke sat up at that and looked at Lexa._ _

__Lexa rolled her eyes. “I didn’t fall off that much Raven.”_ _

__Raven laughed. “Yes you did! Come on I saved you a seat.” She patted the spot next to her. “Although I’m really really impressed. She already knows how to ride in such a small amount of time.”_ _

__Murphy smirked. “Wow. Raven impressed...”_ _

__“I know.” Raven chuckled. “Gotta hand it to the commander though. She never gave up. She would fall of then get straight back up ready for more. She is resilient!”_ _

__Clarke didn’t take her eyes off her when she walked towards the table. She was frowning like she was trying to figure something out._ _

__Madi jumped up and down in her seat. “When can you teach me Raven!”_ _

__“Ahhhhh never.” She smirked._ _

__“What you’re teaching Lexa! Lexa tell her I’m not a kid.”_ _

__Lexa smiled and sat beside Raven. “She’s a lot more mature then you Raven.” She nudged her shoulder then looked back to Madi. “But I think that you learning how to ride a bike is your mothers decision.”_ _

__Everyone looked at Clarke. “Mom?”_ _

__“Hmm.”_ _

__“Bike? Me?”_ _

__“Mmm I don’t know- why are you learning to ride a bike Lexa?”_ _

__This was the first actual sentence that Clarke has spoken to her since landing. So it took Lexa a while to register that she was indeed speaking to her._ _

__“Why not.” She shrugged._ _

__As conversation started flowing again Lexa took a bite of her food. “It’s just that you are a horse type of girl Lexa.”_ _

__Lexa looked up to the women. “Yes well Clarke they don’t have horses here. They have bikes. So.” She shrugged again and started eating._ _

__Clarke frowned. “Riding bikes? What next. Are you going to be waving guns around soon?”_ _

__Everyone at the table froze. Lexa almost dropped her drink she had. She placed down her cup. “No. I would never hold the very thing that ended my life.”_ _

__“Mom.” Madi whispered. “What the hell.”_ _

__Murphy huffed. “Ease up Clarke.”_ _

__“It’s ok Murphy.” Lexa smiled at him. “I suppose it’s been a long time since I was shot and bled out. For me though it only felt like yesterday.”_ _

__Clarke clenched her fists and sat up straight. “Ok. I’m sorry.” She said clearly._ _

__Lexa didn’t know what it was but Clarke’s comment hurt and that hurt for a brief second turned to bitterness. She felt bitter that clark had been ignoring her and that she had moved on. She felt her walls crumble down, the walls that were keeping her bitter feelings at a far. Her walls that truely showed that for the last month or so she had actually been quit hurt with Clarke’s behaviour. “It’s quite strange really.”_ _

__“What is?” Raven asked._ _

__“Dying. It’s strange being able to remember it.”_ _

__“Stop.” Clarke glared at her._ _

__Clarke demanding anything from her made her want to push more. “I actually still feel the pain. I have been stabbed before and slashed even whipped but being shot. That’s entirely different. It’s like a pain that radiates though you’re entire body.”_ _

__Clarke started breathing heavy. “Stop.” She said again._ _

__But Lexa didn’t want to stop. She wanted to push to see if the blonde did actually care about her because right now it was hard to tell. “But the feeling of life leaving you, now that’s something else. It’s like going into a deep sleep but you fight it...you try to fight it even thought you know it futile, it’s true what they say. You do see your life flash before your eyes. You feel all the regrets all the remorse and all the happiness all at once.”_ _

__Clarke hit the table and stood. “I said stop!”_ _

__Lexa stood too. “What’s the Matter Clarke, did you actually remember that I was here?”_ _

__Raven stood and held her shoulder. “Hey let’s just calm down ok.”_ _

__Lexa shrugged her off. “No. Let’s not. I went to you to learn how to ride a motorcycle and somehow I have done something to make Clarke angry. Which I suppose is more emotion then she has shown me since getting here Actually this is the most she has spoken to me since getting here.”_ _

__“I said stop Lexa!”_ _

__Lexa placed her hands on the table and lent forwards. “I don’t answer to you.” She stood up straight and sighed and looked around the table. “I’m sorry I ruined dinner. I’m clearly not welcome here, I will eat else where from now on.” She looked at Clarke sadly. “I didn’t know going through that door would bring me here....I didn’t ask for this. I was happy in my space.” She said quietly. “I was at peace....” her bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry that I have disrupted yours.”_ _

__She swallowed the lump in her throat and left the tavern._ _

__“Lexa Wait!” Murphy stood and followed her out the room. “Nice job princess!” He called over his shoulder._ _

__Madi stood. “Why did you do that?”_ _

__“I don’t...I didn’t...”_ _

__“She going to leave...and it’s all your fault.” She ran off._ _

__“Madi she’s not going to leave.” She called after her._ _

__“Actually.” Raven sighed. “She is.”_ _

__Clarke stumbled back. “What?”_ _

__“It’s why she wants to learn but mostly I think it just gives her something to do.”_ _

__Bellamy sighed. “She asked me for maps.”_ _

__Echo frowned. “Was it us...”_ _

__“No.” Raven looked at her friend. “I asked her. I suppose she felt like she didn’t have a reason to stay.” She looked back at Clarke._ _

__Clarke went to talk._ _

__“What’s that?” Raven stood. “She did not just steal my bike.”_ _

__All of them ran to the door and watched as Lexa took off on the bike. Murphy and Madi blocked her path with their arms crossed._ _

__They were talking when Murphy got on the bike behind her and said some words to Madi that made her move. Then they took off._ _

__Clarke ran out the door and waited for Madi to come to them. She wiped the tears from her face._ _

__“Murphy said he would bring her back. I believe him. He’s the only one beside me and Gaia that care about her.”_ _

__“Madi.” Clarke said softly. “I care...I”_ _

__“All these years I have watched you mourn her. Long for her and and she’s here..she pointed over her shoulder. “She’s right there. Why? Why would you bring that up.”_ _

__“I can’t lose anymore people.”_ _

__Madi frowned then took her mothers hand in her own. “You just did mom.” Madi said softly._ _

__................_ _

__Lexa drove with one place in mind._ _

__She pulled up to the anomaly. When she stopped the bike she walked toward it._ _

__“Hey.” She felt Murphy pull her back. “Come on. Don’t do this.”_ _

__She felt tears run down her face. “Why am I here.” She fell to the floor._ _

__Murphy sat beside her and hugged her to his side. “It doesn’t matter now.”_ _

__“Maybe I’m suppose to go back in it.”_ _

__“What’s with you people and trying to make sense of everything. All this fate talk it’s stupid.” He looked at her. “I’ll tell you why you are here Lexa. Pure and utter luck. Luck that you were downloaded onto an ai. Luck that the ai made it to this planet where there’s a frigging anomaly and luck that this dark commander psycho underestimated you. Who cares why you are here. You’re here now and you got a second chance at life. I literally don’t know anyone who can say that and best of all you have arrived in a time of peace.”_ _

__Lexa wiped away her tears. “Why does she hate me so much....”_ _

__“Lexa.” He held her tight. “You weren’t there after. She was in so much pain. She loved you, that sort of love doesn’t just disappear. Even with time. It stays there, I can’t speak for her but I know she does not hate you.”_ _

__She lent her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__“Don’t be. It was a low blow from Clarke. I’m sure she regrets it.”_ _

__“Maybe.” She wiped her face and sighed. “I don’t won’t To go back yet.”_ _

__“All good but can we move somewhere else. This thing gives me the creeps.”_ _

__She laughed. “Ok”_ _

__......................._ _

__Lexa walked the bike back to Ravens work shop not wanting to wake anybody._ _

__Murphy told her to come find him if she needed anything._ _

__She walked past Madi and Clarke‘s bedroom and contiplated knocking and letting them both know she was ok. But she thought it was best to let them sleep._ _

__When she walked into her room she was shocked to find Clarke and Madi sleeping in her bed._ _

__It was Clarke who woke first. When she noticed Lexa she jumped out of the bed which of course woke up Madi and when the girl was aware that Lexa was back she ran at her and held her tight._ _

__She smiled and left the room leaving just Clarke and Lexa._ _

__Clarke looked sad as she nervously ringed her hands. “I’m glad your back.”_ _

__“Are you?”_ _

__Clarke looked up at her quickly. “Of course.” She said in such a way that Lexa should have already know this information._ _

__“Ok.” Lexa said. “Im tired I was going to get some sleep.”_ _

__Clarke walked towards her. “I’m sorry Lexa.”_ _

__“Me too.”_ _

__“You have nothing to be sorry for. I can explain.”_ _

__“You don’t owe me an explanation Clarke. It’s fine.” She opened her bedroom door._ _

__Clarke nodded and walked out the door. As Lexa went to close it Clarke held her hand up stopping it. “You didn’t ruin anything Lexa.” The blondes was lookin into the brunettes eyes. Pleading with her to believe the things she was saying. Lexa simply nodded. The blonde stood back from the door. “I’ll let you sleep.” She said quietly._ _

__.................._ _

__It had been a couple of days since she had seen Clarke and this time it wasn’t Clarke that was avoiding her. It was Lexa avoiding Clarke._ _

__It was harder then what it sounded._ _

__She literally hid some days._ _

__Murphy helped, he thought it was funny and made a game of it. He called it “hide and go seek.” He would even say to Clarke. “Clarke you’re it.” Every time he said that she would look at him strangely. Or when ever she would ask people if they had seen Lexa he would always snicker._ _

__This one time Lexa had seen Clarke heading up towards the bedrooms where she was so she quickly hid in a closet in Murphy’s and Emori’s room. She could see through the crack of the door slightly and watched as Clarke huffed in annoyance. “Seriously.” She heard Clarke mumble. Clarke shook her head and headed towards the closet. Two things were going through Lexa’s mind. One, what would she say to the blonde and two how embarrassing it is that she is literally hiding in a closet. Clarke was just outside the door about to open it when Murphy stopped her. “Can I help you princess?”_ _

__The blonde turned and Lexa felt relived because that could have been awkward. “Probably not.” She mumbled. “I’m looking for Lexa I have been for a couple of days now and no one can seem to tell me where she is.”_ _

__He chuckled. “Maybe that’s cause you’re an asshole.”_ _

__There was a pause. Lexa looked out the little crack and could see hurt pass over Clarke’s face. “Wow. I must have really sunk low in life to be having the coach roach call me an asshole.”_ _

__“Yes.” He replied. “You have.”_ _

__Clarke held her hands on her hips and looked away sadly. “I know I’m not perfect Murphy, I made mistakes but so the hell have you...why are you so hard on me all the time? Truely.” She said softly. “You of all people knows what she means to me.” Lexa swallowed knowing that she is the she Clarke is talking about. Lexa was sad to see Clarke so sad._ _

__“Yeah. And yet you have been avoiding her since she arrived.”_ _

__“What ever Murphy I’m an asshole can you at least tell me if she’s ok?”_ _

__“She’s fine, She’s so nice and generous and just a pleasure to be around. You know. The complete opposite of you.”_ _

__“Whatever.” She mumbled and turned to walk out the door._ _

__“Hey.” She heard Murphy say making her stop and turn towards him. “You’re right, we have all made mistakes. Half the time I’m just teasing you princess.”_ _

__“And the other half?”_ _

__“I’m resentful that you are so good at....all this leader stuff.”_ _

__“We have all been through so much. I’m so sick of fighting and....you don’t give yourself enough credit Murphy._ _

__“I’m sick of fighting too but....I like teasing you.” He shrugged._ _

__She heard the blonde chuckled. “Fine how about you make it 80/20.”_ _

__“60/40.”_ _

__“70/30.”_ _

__He snickered. “You got yourself a deal.....Hey princess?” He said as she got to the door. “You’re it.” He laughed._ _

__He was strange but funny and a very good friend._ _

__Now she was im the work shop helping Raven. Raven said she could have the bike since she knew well enough how to drive it. With a heavy heart Lexa decided that she would leave. She felt like she had no place and being around Clarke was too painful. Moving on from her would take time and space two things she couldn’t get in sanctum. She had already told Madi. She promised she would come back. Madi cried, it was hard to see. She told Murphy as well, he offered to come but she declined. Gaia told her to have fun._ _

__So here she was with her back pack in one hand listening to Raven go on about taking care of the bike. When she heard a familiar voice._ _

__“Hey Raven.” Clarke said walking into the room. “Have you seen Lexa-“ Clarke froze when she had noticed her. “There you are.” She looked at the back pack then the bike. “Going somewhere?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“Oh. Can we talk first?”_ _

__“Maybe when I get back.”_ _

__“Are you coming back?”_ _

__“I told Madi I would.”_ _

__“Yes but when Lexa?”_ _

__Lexa put on her back pack and sat on the bike. “When I’m ready Clarke.”_ _

__Clarke stood over the front of the wheel and held the bars. “Please Lexa. I just want to talk.”_ _

__“Well I don’t.”_ _

__“I’m not moving here till you talk to me you have been avoiding me for two days.”_ _

__“Be thankful it wasn’t a month.”_ _

__“Funny.”_ _

__“Wasn’t suppose to be.” She placed her hands on the bar. “Move Clarke. Please.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“Clarke-“_ _

__“Damn it Lexa Im scared ok!”_ _

__Raven dropped her tool, reminding the pair that they weren’t alone. “Whoopsie.” She said as She picked it up._ _

__“Raven can you leave?” Clarke asked._ _

__“But it’s just getting good-“_ _

__“Raven!”_ _

__“Fine she huffed.”_ _

__When Raven was out of sight Clarke looked at Lexa. “Look.....I was scared that I was going to lose you again so I kept my distance. I lost you twice Lexa. I couldn’t lose you a third time....I couldn’t handle it.”_ _

__“Clarke....”_ _

__“I know it sounds like a stupid excuse But I nearly lost Madi and I lost mom and Kane too. Everyone that is near me dies...I’m sorry.” She said sadly._ _

__Lexa placed both her hands on Clarke’s. “It’s not stupid to feel like that.”_ _

__“It is. I really thought that if I stayed away from you that it would be ok and that you would move on without me and vise versa. I thought it would keep you safe. I was wrong. You were in arms length and it was maddening not being able to touch you or talk to you.”_ _

__“Maybe it was for the best. You have a lover.”_ _

__“What?” She frowned. “I don’t have a lover.”_ _

__“The man at your party?”_ _

__“Oh.” Her cheeks turned a bit pink. “I have been with him but he’s not my lover I haven’t been with anyone since you were back Lexa.”_ _

__“You seemed.....comfortable.”_ _

__Clarke sighed. “I was contemplating it. I wanted a distraction but then I seen you.”_ _

__Lexa looked away trying to hide how hurt she was. Regretting bringing it up. “I was fine.” She lied._ _

__“Lexa....” Clarke gently held the her chin so she was looking at the blonde. “You were hurt. I’d never hurt you. Not intentionally.”_ _

__“At dinner it seemed like you wanted too.” She shrugged._ _

__“I left that party looking for you and I couldn’t find you anywhere. I had spent the next day doing the same. Then I found Bellamy and asked if he had seen you and he mentioned that the last time he seen you you were going over the maps. Which confused me. Then at lunch Raven found us and told us she had spent most the day with you teaching you how to ride a bike...I figured you were going to leave. Was I right?”_ _

__“Yes.” She said sadly._ _

__“So it upset me. I acted on it and I’m sorry. I don’t want you to go Lexa.” Clarke placed her hands over Lexa’s. “You have to believe me. Please....believe me.”_ _

__Lexa looked up from the joining hands to Clarke blue eyes that was filled to the the brim with tears. As a lone tear fell down the blondes cheek. Lexa gently wiped it away with her thumb, Clarke held her hand before she could pull away and held it to her face closing her eyes and taking a deep breath._ _

__“Come with me?” Lexa asked softly. “Just for a while. We can talk and you can tell me about the things you have been through. I want to know what you have been through Clarke. I don’t Remember everything from my space but I do know that. I.... I missed you. I longed for you.”_ _

__The blonde frowned. “I....I can’t. I have commitments here and things to do.”_ _

__“Oh.” The brunette said sadly removing her hands. “I understand.”_ _

__“You know I want to right?”_ _

__Lexa nodded as she wasn’t quite sure what to say and also she didn’t think her voice would be steady. Lexa knows what it is like to have responsibilities but that never stopped her from simple things like taking a walk through the markets. So Lexa figured that this was Clarke rejecting her. She held back her tears._ _

__Just as Clarke was about to talk Murphy and Emori walked into the room. “You weren’t going to leave without saying good bye?” He smirked._ _

__She stood off the bike and hugged him. “Of course not.” She said softly into his shoulder. He squeezed her back sensing her unease. She felt him look over his shoulder to glare at the blonde but she whispered in his ear. “It’s ok.” He let her go and smiled sadly at her._ _

__Emori hugged her next. “We are going to miss you Heda.”_ _

__She chuckled. “Will you ever call me Lexa.”_ _

__“No way.” Emoris eyes widened._ _

__Madi ran into the room. “Lexa! You’re still here!”_ _

__She smiled. “Of course, I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”_ _

__Madi ran at her and hugged her tight. “You’re coming back right?”_ _

__“Sha.” It wouldn’t be for a while but she wouldn’t tell Madi that. She didn’t want to upset her and more then she already has._ _

__Bellamy and Echo came in next. Bellamy hugged her tight lifting her of the ground. “You come back you hear?”_ _

__“I will.”_ _

__Clarke shuffled on her feet and laughed nervously. “Guys you are acting like she’s leaving forever. She’s not. She said she’s coming back.”_ _

__Everyone looked at her then back at Lexa._ _

__Echo hugged her. “Be safe.” She said quietly._ _

__“I will.”_ _

__Gaia came in last and hugged the women. “May we meet again.”_ _

__“May we meet again.”_ _

__Raven wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “Walk the bike out yeah and take care of my baby.”_ _

__She smiled. “I will.”_ _

__She walked the bike past everyone. Clarke was standing closest to the door. She cupped the blondes cheek and smiled softly. “Bye Clarke.”_ _

__The blonde frowned. “This.....this isn’t good bye? Right....Lexa?....”_ _

__Lexa nodded and looked behind her she waved as she walked the bike out of the garage. She took one last looked at Clarke walked out._ _

__................._ _

__Everyone looked at the blonde. It was dead silent. She could hear her own heart beating in her chest. This felt like a goodbye._ _

__Murphy scoffed breaking the silence. “And you people think I’m stupid.”_ _

__Emori huffed. “That’s cause you are John.”_ _

__“Name me one thing. Just one thing I have done that is as stupid as Clarke letting her lover from the dead leave without a fight.” No one answered. “Exactly!” He threw up his hands._ _

__Clarke rubbed her neck. “She’s coming back.”_ _

__Bellamy sighed. “Maybe but not anytime soon princess.”_ _

__Raven shook her head. “Murphy is right Clarke. You are being fucking stupid!”_ _

__She walked up ther the blonde and poked her in the chest. “For Christ sakes...what the hell are you doing!”_ _

__“She’s going to come back...she....she.”_ _

__Raven shook her head and got closer to the blonde. “Someone that you loved that you thought had died, came back from the dead.” She held her hands. “I would give anything....anyone would give anything to have that and you are letting her walk away. Why? Cause you have responsibilities here?”_ _

__“Yeah-“_ _

__“Jesus Clarke.” Echo rolled her eyes. “We know this place can’t run without you, yeah we learnt the hard way but shit. It won’t crumble if you go away for a couple of days.”_ _

__“But-“_ _

__“Mom.” Madi said with tears in her eyes. “Go. Go be happy. You deserve it.”_ _

__Gaia smiled. “Go Clarke.”_ _

__Clarke looked around at everyone._ _

__Emori came and held her shoulder. “We all know you want to and that’s ok. Go get her before it’s too late.”_ _

__Clarke stepped back. “Lexa! Wait!” She ran out the doors. The brunette had her helmet on sitting on her bike. “Lexa!” She yelled running towards her. “Lexa!” But the brunette couldn’t hear her as she started the bike. The blonde ran the fastest she had ever run in her life. She felt the tears on her face but she didn’t care. “Lexa!” She cried desperately. She got nearer and then jumped In front of the bike holding the bars._ _

__Lexa quickly ripped off her helmet. “Clarke! What is it! What’s wrong!”_ _

__“Give me fifteen minutes!”_ _

__“What-“_ _

__“Don’t go anywhere promise me! Swear it to me!”_ _

__“Clarke-“_ _

__“Swear it Lexa!”_ _

__“Ok.” She frowned. “But-“_ _

__The blonde ran off leaving a very confused brunette behind._ _

__Everyone stood at the garage._ _

__Raven lent against the wall with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face._ _

__Gaia held Madi as they watched on happily._ _

__Murphy was smirking with his arm draped over Emoris shoulders._ _

__Bellamy was lent again the wall with Echo beside him. They held hands and waved at the brunette._ _

__Clarke came back out of breath with a bag on her back. She walked to Gaia. “Gaia?”_ _

__“Go Clarke. We will take care of her.”_ _

__Clarke smiled and hugged Madi. She kissed the top of her head. “I love you.”_ _

__“I love you too Mom. Now go. Lexa looks so confused.”_ _

__Murphy chuckled. “It’s cute.”_ _

__She stood back and smiled at them all then ran to Lexa again._ _

__“Clarke?” The brunette said worried. “What’s-“_ _

__“Can I drive? I know a place?”_ _

__“Oh...of course.” Lexa scooted back on the bike and took Clarke’s back as Clarke sat in front of her. The blonde grabbed both her arms and wrapped them around her waist. “Hold on.” Then took off._ _

__......_ _

__They came to a beautiful spot near some water._ _

__Clarke found a tree that had some shade and carefully lied out a blanket and got some food from her back pack._ _

__When she was done Lexa sat down next to her._ _

__She watched the blonde as she started putting food out on plates and couldn’t help but admire her beauty. Even though Lexa knew Clarke had lived 5-6 years after her death, it doesn’t look like she has aged at all. In fact Lexa believed that some how Clarke has become even more beautiful._ _

__She was concentrating and when she does Clarke gets this cute little frown lines between her eyes brows._ _

__“You are staring.” The blonde turned to her with a smile._ _

__“That is because you are so beautiful.”_ _

__The blonde smiled softly. “I’m older then you now you Know.”_ _

__“Is that why you have so many wrinkles....”_ _

__Clarke laughed. “I do not.”_ _

__Lexa smiled. “No you do not.”_ _

__When they are they shared small smiles and glances._ _

__When they finished they both lied down next to each other facing one another, so close that their noses were almost touching._ _

__Clarke looked at her sadly. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__“It’s ok.”_ _

__“No it’s not.” The blonde cupped her cheek. “I’ve lost so much Lexa. I just...I can’t...you scare me...and I can’t afford to be scared.”_ _

__“Why do I scare you?”_ _

__Clarke held her hand. “I have lost so much and I have stayed strong but if I lose you again Lexa...I can’t..it would break me.”_ _

__“Do you want me to leave Clarke?”_ _

__“Is that what you want?”_ _

__“No. Is it what you want?”_ _

__“No. I don’t want you to leave. Ever.”_ _

__Lexa was the first one to move her hand to rest on the blondes hip. “Are you happy clarke?”_ _

__“In life?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“I’m happy I have Madi and I have my friends.”_ _

__“Are you happy though.”_ _

__“I’m.....satisfied.”_ _

__“What do you think you need to make you happy.”_ _

__Clarke smiled. “You.”_ _

__Lexa smiled back. “What else.”_ _

__“I guess it would be nice every now and then to...step away from my leadership duties. I realise that’s who I am but it shouldn’t be all that I am.”_ _

__“Hmm. Ok.”_ _

__“Ok?”_ _

__“Yes I will make that happen.”_ _

__“Will you now.”_ _

__“Yes.” She said seriously._ _

__“Well when you figure out how to do that you let me know.”_ _

__“I will. Tell me what happened after I died.”_ _

__“You know the story.”_ _

__“I want to hear it from you Clarke.”_ _

__“Ok.”_ _

__Clarke told Lexa everything that had happened since her death._ _

__There were tears._ _

__There were times when Clarke could not get the words out._ _

__But Lexa held her wiping away her tears and just...listened._ _

__When Clarke has nothing else to say they really didn’t know how much time had past but it was getting dark._ _

__Lexa lent forward and everyone so gently brushed her lips over Clarke’s. When Lexa pulled back Clarke was staring at her with a look she hasn’t seen in a long time._ _

__Lust._ _

__She rolled Lexa on her back and smashed their lips together._ _

__It got to the point where they both had to seperate so they could breath._ _

__Clarke sat up and removed her top and Lexa’s eyes widened as Clarke was not wearing a bra._ _

__She lost her breath and when she realised that Clarke was waiting she slowly ran her palms up her rips and cupped her breats making her moan._ _

__Lexa sat up and kissed her. “We can’t do this here.”_ _

__“What....”_ _

__Lexa kissed her again. I would like privacy.”_ _

__“Lexa. I need you.”_ _

__Lexa nodded and kissed her again. “I need you too, but not here.”_ _

__Clsrke tilted her head back and grained._ _

__Lexa chuckled and started nibbling at her neck. “Really you are going to do that right now.”_ _

__“Sha. It is funny.”_ _

__“You are mean Lexa kom trikru but I love you Anyways.”_ _

__Lexa blinked. “You do?”_ _

__Clarke looked back at her and cupped her cheeks. “Of course.”_ _

__“I love you too Clarke. I never got to tell you.”_ _

__“Well you can now as much as you want.”_ _

__“I love you.”_ _

__“Love you too.” She smiled and moved off the brunette.  
Are you still hungry?”_ _

__“Yes. I love you.”_ _

__Clarke grinned. “I love you too Lexa. Now what do you want to eat?”_ _

__“That fruit thing. I love you.”_ _

__Clarke laughed. “Wow are you going to say that every chance you get?”_ _

__“Yes....”_ _

__“Ok-“_ _

__“I love you.”_ _

__Clarke laughed and tackled the brunette too the floor._ _

__........................_ _

__They slept through the night holding each other and when the woke both of them felt something that they never thought was possible._ _

__Happiness._ _

__So much so that they only looked at each other and started laughing. Then crying tears of happiness._ _

__They kissed passionately and had an understanding that they were in this life together now._ _

__......................._ _

__When they arrived at the shop Raven, Murphy and echo were sitting down talking._ _

__“Have fun.” Murphy smirked._ _

__“Shut up Murphy.” Clarke groaned._ _

__Lexa smiled. “Yes we did John thank you.”_ _

__“You know princess.” Murphy rubbed his chin. “You can learn a thing or two about manners from Lexa.”_ _

__Clarke rolled her eyes and threw the helmet towards him. He fumbled with it and fell on the floor._ _

__Everyone laughed._ _

__Lexa chuckled and held out her hand for Murphy to take._ _

__He grabbed it and sat back down._ _

__Clarke walked up to Lexa and held her hips. “I have to go make sure Madi has kept out of trouble.”_ _

__“Well. She is your daughter.” Lexa grinned._ _

__“More reason to check then. I suppose I have to make sure the place didn’t fall apart in my absence.”_ _

__Echo smiled. “You have been gone for less then 24 hours Clarke.”_ _

__“Yes and Bellamy has been in charge while I have been gone.”_ _

__“This is true.” She shrugged. “He’s been ok.”_ _

__“You love him though.”_ _

__“I don’t make excuses for his stupidity.”_ _

__“Yeah.” Raven chuckled. “She’d kick his ass. And oh your daughter has had some issues Clarke.”_ _

__“How...” she shook her head and looked back to Lexa. “Do you want to come.”_ _

__“I want to help raven fix that bike of hers. It’s interesting.”_ _

__“Ok.” Clarke smiled and wrapped her arms around the brunettes shoulder bringing her in for a kiss. “Don’t go far?”_ _

__“I won’t.” She kissed her again. “I love you.”_ _

__“Love you too.”_ _

__“Ugh get a room.” Raven rolled her eyes._ _

__Clarke gave her the finger then left._ _

__“So.” Murphy grinned. “That just happned.”_ _

__“Sha.”_ _

__“How are you.”_ _

__“Good.” She smiled. “We had a nice time and we talked.”_ _

__Echo stood. “That’s great commander. Maybe she won’t be as grumpy.”_ _

__Lexa raised her eyebrow. “She would be less grumpy if she did not have to keep sacrificing herself and her sanity for the people and her friends and family. Don’t you agree.”_ _

__Echo grinned. “True. I won’t bring up the grumpy thing again.”_ _

__“That is good, who else is in charge?”_ _

__“Bellamy....”_ _

__“And?”_ _

__“Me and Raven.”_ _

__“Hmm. Here’s what is going to happen. Once a week Clarke is going to come with me and be let off from her duties as leader. You will all need to learn how to work around that.”_ _

__“Whoa.” Raven said. “She’s like....the glue that holds everything together.”_ _

__“Yes. I agree. She imperative to any sort of peace you want to keep but....she is also your friend, your family whom has lost a lot due to the fact that she is a leader. I think now that we are in a time of peace that she has earnt the right to enjoy it as well. Don’t you?”_ _

__Raven and echo nodded. “Yeah.” Murphy sighed. “Your are right.”_ _

__“Good. I will talk to bellamy.”_ _

__“He won’t be happy.” Echo sighed._ _

__“That is not my problem. This will happen.”_ _

__“Sha.”_ _

__“Good. So what were you doing before I got here.”_ _

__..................._ _

__Lexa knocked on bellamys door. “Hey Lexa. Come in.”_ _

__She walked in and sat down beside him at his desk. “Heya bellomi.”_ _

__“What can I do for you?”_ _

__“It’s not for me actually. It’s for Clarke.”_ _

__“Anything she’s my best friend. I seen her today by the way. She was smiling. I haven’t seen her do that in a while.”_ _

__“Yes. You know how hard she is on herself.”_ _

__“I think we have all be hard on her at some stage.” He said sadly._ _

__“We tend to expect a lot of the people we look up too or look to for answers.”_ _

__“Yeah and she has always been that person.”_ _

__“But we both know she’s more then that. She’s more then just a leader.”_ _

__“She’s a good friend.”_ _

__“Yes. Which is why once a week she will be relieved of her duties.”_ _

__He frowned. “Lexa...I can’t....we can’t....do this without her.”_ _

__She sighed. “Do you know how old I was when I was killed on earth.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“I was 21 turning 22. I had been commander from when I was 13 and I had spent from the ages of 7 to 13 training to become commander.”_ _

__“That’s....a lot.”_ _

__“Yes. You see Bellamy. Life is short and although we both know that Clarke was made to be a leader and she couldn’t walk away even if she wanted to because that’s not who she is. She needs time to breath, to laugh and to cry. She needs to be just Clarke and you all need to learn to do things without her.” She placed his hands over hers. “I think we all need some sort of...escape. Including you.”_ _

__“I need to find my sister Lexa.”_ _

__“Hmm. I have been speaking to the one they call Hope. She has told me that Octavia was happy.”_ _

__“No.....no, She wasn’t here with us, her people.”_ _

__“Skaikru were never her people. You know that.”_ _

__“She could be out there though.”_ _

__“She’s not.”_ _

__“You don’t know that.”_ _

__“You have not spoken to Hope.”_ _

__“I have been busy...”_ _

__“No. You don’t want to hear her answers. Maybe you should ask yourself why it is she has not gone back through the anomaly. Why she hasn’t returned to this...Diyoza. I think once you talk to her it will clarify things. You just have to be brave enough to listen.”_ _

__He sighed. “Clarke said you were a voice of reason.”_ _

__“She did.”_ _

__“She didn’t tell me how annoying that was.”_ _

__Lexa chuckled and stood. “Talk to Hope, Bellamy.”_ _

__“Right, I think I’ll ask Echo to come with me.”_ _

__“I think that she would stand by your side in any situation.”_ _

__“I would do the same for her.”_ _

__“Then you are both very lucky to have one another.”_ _

__He held his hand over Lexa’s. “Thanks.”_ _

__“You are welcome. Now have you seen Clarke or Madi?”_ _

__“Yes I think they are by the school.”_ _

__..............._ _

__“Lexa!” Madi ran to her. Hugging her around the waist. “Thank god you are here mom is driving me nuts.”_ _

__Clarke walked up behind her. “Madi...how about telling the full story.”_ _

__“I’m not a child!”_ _

__Lexa smiled at Clarke. “Hello.”_ _

__Clarke lent forward and kissed her. “Hey.”_ _

__“Whats wrong.”_ _

__“Madi? Would you like to tell Lexa or-“_ _

__“Mom is being completely un reasonable and oh my god you both just kissed!” She looked around. “How is it now one is here to see this monumental occasion!”_ _

__“Ok.” Lexa laughed. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit?”_ _

__Madi dragged her to a bench. All three sat down Madi on the end with Lexa next to her and Clarke sitting next to Lexa._ _

__The blonde placed her arm around Lexa’s waist._ _

__Lexa smiled. “What’s wrong?”_ _

__“Ok well.” Madi sat up straight. “I decided to not go to school-“_ _

__“Skip.” Clarke raised an eyebrow._ _

__“And I decided that I wanted to show Raven I could ride a bike-“_ _

__“You stole Raven’s bike and took it without her permission.”_ _

__“Mom! I’m telling the story!”_ _

__“And what a good story it is Madi. How about telling the truth...”_ _

__Madi went to say more but Lexa cupped her cheek. “Did you skip school to steal Raven’s bike.”_ _

__“Yes.” She crossed her arms. “Because I’m not a kid.”_ _

__“Hmm.” Lexa held her around the shoulders. “You know how old I was when I took command.”_ _

__“Of course. You were my age.”_ _

__“You seen my childhood. Did it look.....fun?”_ _

__“No.” She said softly._ _

__“You Madi. Are very mature for your age. Smart too.” She knelt down in front of the girl taking her hands. “Things are different now Madi. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. We already know how special you are. I didn’t get to go to school. Or have friends. I didn’t have a mother who cared for me. I didn’t get to live. I had to survive and I wouldn’t want that for anyone. Especially you.” She kissed the girls hands. “So you can either enjoy life, Make friends, go to school, just live or you can keeping trying to prove you are older then you are which would entail fighting with your mother which I can tell you from experience.....it’s not fun.” Madi scoffed and wiped her eyes. “What do you like doing for fun?”_ _

__“I like training and learning how to fight.”_ _

__“Then keep doing it, What else?”_ _

__“I like the bikes. They are fun.”_ _

__“Ok. Then how about you ask your mother and ask Raven.”_ _

__“But they will both say-“_ _

__“Do you understand how much you are loved by everyone here.”_ _

__“Lexa...” Madi’s eyes watered._ _

__“You are so lucky Madi. You have so many different people that have your back. If they won’t let you do something you have to understand that it must be for a good reason. Maybe ask them why you can’t instead of assuming they are saying no because you are a child.”_ _

__Madi rubbed her face and looked at her mother. “Why can’t I learn to ride?”_ _

__“Because there no bike your size yet.”_ _

__“Yet?”_ _

__“Raven is working on it. All you had to do was ask.”_ _

__Madi nodded. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__“It’s ok.”_ _

__Lexa stood pulling Madi into her arms. “Why don’t you go talk to Raven. I think you owe her an apology.”_ _

__“Ok.” She ran off._ _

__Clarke stood up and kissed Lexa. “You are amazing and I love you.”_ _

__Lexa hugged her around the waist. “I love you too.” Lexa kissed her._ _

__“Mmm. We need some time alone...”_ _

__.................._ _

__Clarke was sitting at the bar having a drink and going over some paper while Lexa and Madi were training._ _

__Bellamy sat next to her. He sighed heavily. “So Octavia-“_ _

__“Bell...”_ _

__“It’s ok.” He turned to her. “Lexa convinced me to talk to Hope.” He shook his head and laughed. “Fuck Clarke. She was in a relationship with Diyoza and raised Hope.”_ _

__Clarke chocked on her drink. “Wait....what?!”_ _

__“Hope refers to her as mom.”_ _

__“Are you serious.”_ _

__“Yup.” He chuckled. “How could I have missed it you know she always made me feel uncomfortable because she reminded me so much of her.”_ _

__“Wait....why didn’t she tell anyone.”_ _

__“Because she wanted me to know first but when I was ready to hear it.”_ _

__“Hope is around our age. She says that her and Diyoza...they lived a very happy life and she says she was a very happy child. Diyoza got sick, I don’t know what she died of but it sounded like a heart attack. As they buried her they went to explore and came across the anomaly. It was there they meant the keepers of the gate.”_ _

__“I’m assuming the gate is the anomaly.”_ _

__“Yes. They had learned what it was and how it worked. Kind of. Anyways a man appeared out of it and he claimed to be the dark commander and he was going to rule all. Behind him was Becca.”_ _

__“The first commander.”_ _

__“Yes. He then ran back into the anomaly chasing after her. Then I guess all that Lexa said happened in the flame. He must have realised that he would have to kill all the commaders to do what he wanted. So Octavia knew we would be in danger. They spent years studying it and also became keepers. Hope stayed behind while Octavia ran in.”_ _

__“Why was she...young again.”_ _

__“Because that’s what she had asked of it. She also asked for it to wipe her memories temporarily so that she wouldn’t remember Hope.”_ _

__“Why would she want to forget her?”_ _

__“Hope told me Octavia was sick too and she told Hope after two years go here to sanctum apparently time works differently, she told her that going through the gate it would take her life. When she arrived she would die. Something about too much energy.” His bottom lip trembled. “I think that Octavia wanted Hope to come here and be with....me. With us...her family.”_ _

__“I’m so sorry Bell.”_ _

__He smiled with tears in his eyes. “All I have ever wanted was for Octavia to be happy Clarke. That’s all and it hurts she was happy and I didn’t get to see it.”_ _

__She smiled. “You can hear about it though. Through Hope?”_ _

__He wiped away his tears. “Yes. I can’t believe I have a niece”_ _

__She laughed. “I can’t believe my dead lover is alive but here we are.”_ _

__He smirked. “I think we need a drink.”_ _

__“Drinking!” Raven yelled as she walked In The tavern. “Yes please!”_ _

__Everyone walked in and sat at the bar._ _

__“Where’s Lexa?” Clarke asked._ _

__Gaia sat down beside her. “With Madi. They went for a walk.”_ _

__“Ok.”_ _

__.............._ _

__When Lexa and Madi walked in and the little bell chimed everyone turned to them and raised their glassed. “Hey!” They all said together._ _

__Clarke’s looked at her with her eyes half shut she was swaying. “Lexa! Madi!”_ _

__Madi scoffed. “Mom is drunk...this is so weird.”_ _

__“Go upstairs and get ready for bed.”_ _

__“But Lexa!” Lexa raised her eyebrow. “Fine.”_ _

__“There’s my daughter!” She pointed at Madi._ _

__Madi chuckled. “I don’t know that crazy lady.”_ _

__Everyone laughed._ _

__Echo burped. “We were just talkin about chu.”_ _

__“Yeah.” Raven stood with her arm around Echo. “We were discussing if you are a top or a bottom. Clarke won’t tell us.”_ _

__Lexa looked at Clarke. “What?”_ _

__Clarke giggled. “You are so beautiful.”_ _

__Murphy smiled. “We were also discussing your hotness.”_ _

__“My hotness...”_ _

__Clarke pulled her forward so she was standing between the blondes legs. “It means how attractive you are.”_ _

__“Oh. That’s strange.”_ _

__“Not really commander falls on ya face. We all gave you a 10 Clarkey gave you a 20.”_ _

__“No. I gave her infinity! God Raven you don’t listen!”_ _

__“I do so! We decided that wasn’t a number and that you had to choose a number!”_ _

__Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s shoulders and smiled. “I love you.”_ _

__She chuckled. “I love you too. Let’s get you to bed.”_ _

__“Nawwwwww.” Every said._ _

__Clarke gave them the finger as Lexa helped her stand._ _

__..............._ _

__When Lexa woke the next morning she made her way down stairs with Madi to have some breakfast. She left Clarke to sleep._ _

__Everyone was sitting at the table holding their heads._ _

__Madi laughed. “You guys feel ok.”_ _

__Murphy barely lifted his head. “Shhhh to loud.”_ _

__Lexa sat next to him and gave him a glass of water._ _

__Raven groaned. “Hey where’s mine.”_ _

__Maid giggled. “Get your own Raven.”_ _

__Someone came over with some food. “Here eat this it will help.”_ _

__As they were eating Clarke walked down the stairs. “Hey Mom!”_ _

__Clarke smiled softly._ _

__Lexa turned and looked at her. “Hi.”_ _

__Clarke lent down and kissed her softly. “Hey you didn’t wait for me.”_ _

__“Sorry, I was hungry. I was going to bring you up some.”_ _

__Clarke grinned. “Well maybe I should go back to bed then.”_ _

__Raven groaned. “Go be gross somewhere else!”_ _

__Lexa smiled. “Madi, go get your mother a chair please.”_ _

__“Sure!” Madi jumped up._ _

__Clarke whispered. “You will have to teach me how you get her to listen.”_ _

__“She listens to you.”_ _

__“Oh you want to bet. Watch this.” Madi put a seat behind Clarke. “Thanks Madi.”_ _

__“You are wecolme.”_ _

__“So I was thinking after breakfast you could do some reading with me. It’s been a while.”_ _

__“Ugh Mom. I have plans today.”_ _

__Clarke turned and raised her eyebrow towards Lexa._ _

__Lexa smiled. “I’m sure it can wait Madi.”_ _

__Madi sighed. “Alright.” She jumped up.” I’ll be back after you eat your breaky. She lent down and kissed Clarke’s cheek then lexas._ _

__When she was out of sight Clarke turned to Lexa. “See.”_ _

__Lexa smiled and kissed her again. “Can I read with you both too.”_ _

__“Of course. Then i was thinking that later tonight we could spend some time together. Just you and I.”_ _

__“Sounds Nice.”_ _

__Raven groaned louder. “Seriously! Go away!”_ _

__..................._ _

__Lexa had spent her morning with Raven helping fixing the bikes._ _

__She opened up about losing a man named Shaw. Then once she started talking about him she opened up about all the pain she had suffered. Lexa kept passing her tools as she listened. Then Raven paused and took a deep breath. She looked at Lexa with such sadness that Lexa felt her eyes well up. “I can’t lose anyone else....” she said sadly._ _

__Lexa wanted to assure her she wouldn’t but who was Lexa to much such promises, death is inevitable....so she pushed her tears aside and handed her a spanner. “You can’t get rid of these people Raven Reyes. They are like a bad smell. Just lingers and lingers.”_ _

__Raven cackled and wiped away a tear then continued working on the bike. “So true.”_ _

__Murphy and Emori were working in the fields. They informed her that they were getting married and hadn’t told anyone yet. She was genuinely happy for them. They worked on the fields for a couple of hours. She told them they should tell people. They agreed._ _

__She then made her way back to the village and seen Bellamy and Hope talking to each other and laughing._ _

__Bellamy waved her over. “Hey commander! You want to join us for lunch?”_ _

__“I don’t want to impose.”_ _

__Hope smiled kindly. “You aren’t.”_ _

__Bellamy chuckled. “I was just telling Hope how Octavia was when she was a child.”_ _

__Lexa sat down. “Was she defiant then too?”_ _

__Bellamy laughed. “Yes.” She smiled at Hope. “She always knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to get it.”_ _

__Hope smiled. “Sounds like Mom.”_ _

__Lexa’s eyes widened. “Mom?”_ _

__Bellamy laughed and slapped his knee. “Boy have we got a story for you.”_ _

__Later after talking with bellamy and Hope she found Echo._ _

__She sat down and had a good long talk to Echo. They talked about the ice queen and all the things that Nia had made Echo do and all the things she lost when she refused. Echo smiled when she started talking about Bellamy and what she calls her space kru. At the end they hugged and as Echo was about to pull her away Lexa pulled her back and held her a bit longer. She felt Echo cry into her shoulder. Life on earth was hard for everyone. Echo cried tears of sorrow and tears of happiness. Lexa knew from this day on wards herself and Echo would be close friends. They had both seen the horrors earth had to offer._ _

__At the end of the day Lexa realised that she now has friends. She smiled at the thought as she was walking alone._ _

__She felt someone slip her hand in to her own. “Hey.” Clarke smiled at her._ _

__“Heya.”_ _

__“Where has you been all day?”_ _

__“I think....your friends now think of me as their friend.”_ _

__Clarke grinned. “Let me apologise in advance then.”_ _

__Lexa smiled. “They are ok.” She shrugged. She stopped and turned towards the blonde. “All of you have been through so much. Seen so much.”_ _

__“Yeah.” Clarke said holding her hips and bringing Lexa’s body to her own. “That’s why I work so hard. I don’t want anyone to....go through so much ever again.”_ _

__Lexa cupped her cheeks and kissed her. “It’s not solely your job. You take on a lot that you don’t need to Clarke. Your freinds would help you.”_ _

__“Lexa....”_ _

__“You don’t owe anything to your people anymore Clarke. You have done enough. Now it’s time for everyone to work to keep the peace that we know have. I have talked to your friends. You can get away once a week.”_ _

__“What-“_ _

__“I told you I would organise it.”_ _

__Clarke smiled. “Lexa....I love you so much.” She said softly._ _

__Lexa smiled. “I love you too, now it’s time for us to live Clarke.”_ _

__Clarke rested her forehead on Lexa’s. “Ok.” She kissed her. “Ok.”_ _


End file.
